Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Sue Johnson

Description

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.

In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations...

Sample reviews

1) My wife and I used to fight like cats and dogs (and she is born in the Year of the Dog). At one long drawn out stage, it seemed an unspoken understanding between us that this was the nature of our relationship and we were resigned to it - some highs and many unsettling lows....

Hold Me Tight illuminates for me more clearly how changing myself in relation to her dramatically changed our relationship. I needed to be more Accessible, Responsive and better Engage (I'm not going to spoil it for you or the author - you do need to read the book to get a good feel of what she means by each)...

My wife doesn't do personal growth books (or non-fiction in general) and didn't read either. The most interesting part is how her responses towards me changed, without any direction on my part i.e. I didn't tell or explain any of the theory or mechanics to her. She was simply reacting to my new ways of interacting with her, as if we'd started dancing to a much better, in-synched set of steps. Now it seems like we're doing almost all ups or plateaus, hardly any down time. Very nice.

2) This, together with Gottman's book, is an attempt to deliver an objective and clear guide to resolving relationship difficulties and/or strengthening them. This book (unlike Gottman's) is rooted in attachment theory, which is probably the closest thing to a scientifically based approach to human relationships, or at least there's a biological and evolutionary framework for understanding our emotional needs in relationships...

This book attempts to tether its approach to something concrete and verified: we need to be and to feel securely connected to our mates and this need is confirmed in all sorts of ways, both with scientific studies and in anecdotal and clinical settings.