Better Marriages > Sexless marriage

Sexless marriage


15-20% of couples are in a sexless marriage, which is defined as having 10 or less sexual encounters per year with their spouse.


- stress/tiredness from work, kids, chores

- emotional distance

- physical issues/low libido

- depression


1) "I was in a sexless marriage, with sex only once a month for about 1 year, then nothing for the last 5 months, but it was by my choice at the end. After 16 years, I knew he didn't even like me anymore, never mind love me. And when he did want sex, it was just for the physical release..."

2) "There is a foundation of friendship between myself and my husband so when we hit those times when we're not so sexually attracted to eachother we still can find the reason why we are still together." Read more.

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Books for "Sexless marriage"

The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide
By Michele Weiner Davis
Review 1) My wife and I have been fighting about sex for over ten years. When we first got married, sex was great with each passing year, she wanted less and less. Our fights have gotten uglier because I've been so frustrated. I've suggested that she go to her doctor but her only response is that "its my problem." That's how our fights always end... Th... more

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
By David Schnarch
Review 1) Dr. Schnarch's solution to "emotional gridlock" is to encourage you to maintain your integrity -- i.e. to "hold on to" yourself -- without pushing your spouse away: to be who you really are, and to let your spouse see who you really are, while at the same time letting your spouse know that you love and value your spouse and the relationship. The... more

Mating in Captivity
By Esther Perel
Review 1) ... to address the dilemma of intimacy and desire: (1) Don't assume you know everything about your partner, and cultivate a certain amount of mystery; (2) Don't expect desire to be "spontaneous" - it can be kindled just as well (or better) through forethought, scheduling and careful planning - just like a great meal or a long-ago date; (3) Sexua... more

Dr. Ruth's Top Ten Secrets for Great Sex: How to Enjoy it, Share it, and Love it Each and Every Time
By Ruth K. Westheimer
Review 1) Dr. Ruth really gets it: "the truth is that too many of us allow our sexlife to be drowned under the flood of all the other activities fighting for our attention, from work and family matters to watching TV, playing video games, answering emails, chatting online..." She urges you to make sex a priority and empowers you with the right reasoning a... more

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
By Kevin Leman
Review 1) Leman is a devout Christian, and as such remains within biblical guidelines in his sexual advice. He definitely is NOT however, puritanical by any means. He describes sex in marriage as a gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed, not as a necessary evil to be endured... I read this book first, and then my wife was so intrigued by my interest t... more
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Activities for "Sexless marriage"

See a sex therapist

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that can help a couple with sex issues in their relationship.

Find a Sex Therapist near you

You can search by state, then look through therapists order by their city alphabetically. Lists the type of work they do and certification received.

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Articles for "Sexless marriage"

Power of Two on Sexless Marriage

Lists some common reasons for why couples might have lower frequencies of sex than they'd like. The Power of Two is an online marriage counseling program. They also offer a quiz to help better understand the state of your marriage.

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Websites for "Sexless marriage"

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